I promise this will not be a post all about feelings. If you want to skip any whining and enter to win your very own copy of WHEN I’M HER, you can scroll down to author updates where there are links to a couple of different sweepstakes going on!
I like the idea of a warm, cozy, Cheers-like place where authors can gather, bitch and moan over pints. Where everybody knows your name, and not because you’re a New York Times bestseller (because let’s face it, you probably aren’t).
A solid group chat is a lifesaver, but Discord lacks a certain ambiance and that one pool table where you know exactly how to hit the side pocket, and also beer. I should say that I am in no way advocating binge drinking, which is but one (unhealthy) way to forget your troubles! And yet, stereotypically, drinking is the one thing writers do a lot of when they get together. Why do we think that is?
Post-publication blues are a well-known phenomenon and very normal even among established authors. Think about it—you spend months or years writing and editing a book, after which you spend a year waiting for it to come out, doing publicity, possibly (hopefully) seeing reviews and buzz about it, and then, after all that, it’s just…out there.1 I compare it to the day after Christmas for little kids, but you can insert your preferred long-anticipated, hyped-up thing here.
It’s even more of a letdown if the buildup has been minimal, as it is for many traditionally published authors. It can feel like your publisher is throwing rocks into a lake. Some of those rocks make a nice big splash, and a few of them aren’t actually rocks but toy boats that can sail far enough to get to the other shore, but most of the rocks just sink. After a month or two goes by, this thing you’ve worked on for years is just another of the thousands of scum-covered stones lining the lake bed. Thinking about this doesn’t give me any existential dread at all, really!
For anyone reading this who’s a writer hoping to be traditionally published one day, I swear it’s not as bleak as I’m making it sound, lol. And achieving the dream of finishing your book > finding an agent > getting a book deal > seeing your book on shelves and readers’ reactions is extremely gratifying. But for those of you thinking “I’ll be happy and satisfied if I can just get an agent/get published/get on the NYT bestseller list”... well if that turns out to be true in your case, then I love that for you!
But truly, the only item on that list that you have more than 50% control over is whether or not you finish your book. And even once you’ve accomplished some of these things, either the goalposts have moved or you’re all, “Okay, what now?”
Researchers have been studying intrinsic vs. extrinsic motivation for many years. What we’ve found, generally speaking, is that external markers of success can give us temporary satisfaction at best, and sometimes those rewards even undermine our motivation. This doesn’t mean that the lack of outside recognition or validation feels good. It just means that getting what you want isn’t going to give you everything you need.
I personally know that some of the best days I’ve had as a writer were good writing days. Days when I was writing dialogue that just snapped on the page, when I figured out how to solve a plot problem (or cause one), or finally typed THE END on a draft (though that has its own bittersweet flavor).
My other best days as a writer have been when I’ve been able to interact with readers, whether in person or online. I love getting DMs from people telling me they enjoyed my books.2 I love giving interviews where I can tell from the questions that the interviewer has read my words and had thoughts about them. Some of this is ego, but who doesn’t appreciate knowing they’ve made a difference in someone else’s life, even if it’s just providing an escape for a few hours?
As you might have guessed, I’m writing my newsletter on this topic because my book has been out for a little over a week and I’m already feeling very “Is that all there is?” Once the flood of Instagram notifications slows to a trickle, it’s easy to feel like the world has moved on and all you have left is telling yourself that sales don’t define you.
My brain knows there is more bookish goodness to come. I’m gearing up for Thrillerfest, Bouchercon, and possibly other events in the next several months. I’ve steeled myself to ask my publisher a few of the questions you’re supposed to ask around your book coming out,3 and even if the answers aren’t what I want to hear they will help me plan for the future. And most importantly, I have another project to distract me. This is why every writer on social media tells you that the best thing you can do to get over publishing anxiety is work on the next book. Speaking of which…
Weird thing I am researching right now: neurolinguistic programming and other forms of mind control. This Mother Jones profile of one of the guys who came up with NLP (not to be confused with natural language processing) is one of the more wild things I’ve read this year.
Author updates
I had an amazing book launch event last week thanks to Third House Books, my conversation partner
, and everyone who showed up!Book giveaways
You can enter to win a physical copy of WHEN I’M HER on Red Carpet Crash! US/18+ only, ends April 20.
My publisher is giving away 50 Kindle copies of WHEN I’M HER on Goodreads! US only, ends April 22.
Reading/watching/listening
BLOODY ROSE by Nicholas Eames, which feels kind of like if Terry Pratchett wrote books using rock bands and monster killing as an allegory for colonialism. I discovered Eames’ writing through his being a guest on the Publishing Rodeo Podcast (speaking of putting publishing in a bleak light lol! But really, I swear, it’s a great podcast!!)
I…have not been watching anything. Apparently I’ve been a little busy this month? Mainly I spend my downtime on the couch reading while my kid cycles through Disney+ comfort watches, which is not a terrible way to live life!
COWBOY CARTER, of course. I’m not actually a huge fan of contemporary country music but when Beyoncé makes a country album you listen to it!
If you enjoy my ramblings, you might like my books!
The Other Me, which PopSugar called a “Black Mirror-esque rabbit hole,” is an inventive page-turner about the choices we make and the ones made for us.
When I’m Her asks the question: How far would you go to get even with the woman who ruined your life? Out March 26, 2024.
Or not, as you might find out when you go to the bookstore that rhymes with “Larnes & Skobel” in your area the weekend after pub day and find not a single copy of your book.
For the record, I do not love being tagged in bad or mixed reviews. I don’t know of any author who finds this helpful!
These include your book’s print run, first week’s sales, and number of preorders (and, if possible, how these figures measure up against publisher hopes/expectations).
The post-pub blues are extremely real! It's a lot of anticipation and stress and buildup and then . . . it's kinda over. But I agree with you that my best days are usually more writing-focused, where the actual work and fun (haha, sometimes) is. And wow, I have never steeled myself to ask a single one of those pub week questions lol.
i feel this. i did a tour of local indie bookstores the week my book came out. some had it but there's one--a big one that I've spent TONS of money at--who never carry my books. I keep trying to make myself not focus on that extrinsic stuff.. but i keep doing it!